


before you remember

by funvee



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-07
Updated: 2013-08-07
Packaged: 2017-12-22 16:18:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/915347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funvee/pseuds/funvee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Waking up is nice for those first few moments before you remember who and what you are.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	before you remember

**Author's Note:**

> I'm posting this purely because Lani told me to. This was my first foray into this pair, and this fandom. I admit this could be written better, but I liked how it turned out. Inspired by this [softer world comic](http://31.media.tumblr.com/070200d65eb58d2b435bb10148e55837/tumblr_mq5y6r5aUB1refnn9o1_400.jpg).
> 
>  

The morning light is soft and dim through the makeshift bed sheet curtains. The warmth of the bed is addicting in the sort of way that all beds are in the early hours of the day, where there’s no position that’s uncomfortable quite just yet. Stiles is still in that state of consciousness where bed feels like the most wonderful thing in the entire universe. It wouldn’t take much at all to close his eyes and go back to sleep, but then the events of the night before flicker over his mind, and his brain is switching from “sleep” to “awake” with alarming velocity. 

They had killed a werewolf last night. Not one that they had known, but still. They had killed. And, the worst part of it was, they hadn’t even hesitated over the decision. Not even a little. The wolf had been completely feral, struck insane by some unknown cause at an unknown date. He had gone on a murderous rampage through Beacon Hills, sinking his claws into anything that came within swiping range. Three people had died, ripped to shreds before Derek had managed to corner him in the woods and rip his throat out with his claws. 

The night keeps repeating in his mind, over and over and over. 

“I didn’t want to do it,” Derek’s voice filters through the quiet morning air. Stiles turns under Derek’s arm to face him, amber eyes searching the werewolf’s face for some hint of emotion. Derek just looks tired. 

Stiles makes an interrogative noise, humming under his breath as he slips a hand up Derek’s arm. His skin is soft and sleep warm; Stiles can’t stop touching him, his fingers dancing across Derek’s body.

“I know everyone thinks killing is just something I do,” Derek murmurs, eyes opening for the first time since they’ve woken up. Eyes that are normally bright hazel and clear are bloodshot and red, like he’s been crying for hours upon hours. Stiles knows, though, Derek hadn’t so much as shed a tear the whole night. “I don’t like it. I’ve never liked it.”

Stiles remains quiet. This is the most he’s ever gotten out of the older man - Derek doesn’t like to open up about anything, ever. Getting him to talk about something is like pulling teeth out of a very angry alligator. It just doesn’t happen. 

“And I know what you’ll say…” Derek looks down at him, hazel eyes searching his face carefully for an unnamed something. Approval, maybe? Visible interest in the conversation? Stiles watches in return, and tries his best to look attentive. He doesn’t look away from Derek, ready to hear anything that the alpha werewolf wants to share with him. “ _‘But Derek, it’s always the first thing you suggest!’_ …You know why?” Derek pauses, and brings a hand up to brush his fingertips against Stiles’ cheekbone. “Because it’s easy.” 

He’s quiet for a moment, seemingly concentrated on the way his fingers feel on Stiles’ skin. What is he supposed to do with something like this, what Derek’s saying? The thought is brushed from his mind with another press of fingers against his face, across his jaw. A soft gust of air leaves his mouth without his permission and ghosts across Derek’s face, leaving the werewolf looking strangely content.

“I don’t wanna be the sort of person who thinks killing is easy,” Derek pauses again, taking his time to breathe and study Stiles more. Stiles feels like he’s being memorized like one of those memory games he played as a kid. It’s an unsettling feeling for a split second, but then Derek’s face shifts, and suddenly it’s this mind-blowingly affectionate look that cuts him to his core. It doesn’t stay long, that look, it flicks back to that gutted expression from before, and Derek goes on with his confession. “But I am. I am that person,” His voice is gravely and quiet against the still air of the bedroom. Stiles opens his mouth to say something, to reply, to reassure Derek somehow, but the other man presses his fingers against his mouth and Stiles goes still. 

“It’s easy and it keeps everyone safe, in the end,” Derek says, running his thumb along Stiles’ bottom lip like it’s been a distraction the entire time he’s been talking. A shiver runs up Stiles’ spine, sending jolts through his entire body. He forces himself to be still, and then closes his eyes before he can even think about it. Derek’s voice cuts through the darkness one last time, “If it keeps you and the others safe, then I’ll kill.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i'm on [tumblr](http://funvee.tumblr.com/).


End file.
